Choosing Rest: A Return to Living, Not Just Existing
Rest is so often confused and frowned upon in our industrialized society because we have been made to believe that rest is something you have to earn. After working overtime for 50 years, building a 401K, investments, and achieving a fully damaged nervous system, then, and only then, have you earned true, unashamed, guilt-free, rest. We are told, “You can sleep when you’re dead,” and, “No pain, no gain,” but then never taught how to balance work, family, and our own health. This very phrase is so incredibly ironic because working yourself so hard and pushing yourself to the maximum limits constantly, will actually put you in the ground sooner, preventing you from enjoying the fruits of your labor.
Rest is NOT something that you have to earn. Rest is a requirement in order to live a fruitful, healthy, fulfilling life and without rest we are left sick, bitter, unhappy, and strung out. Rest comes in many forms and can look different for everyone depending on your needs and what stage of life you are in. Rest is often confused with laziness, but the two are so incredibly different that you cannot even begin to compare them.
Here are the definitions of both rest and laziness found in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary:
Rest: 1) to refrain from labor or exertion; 2) freedom from activity or labor
Laziness: 1) an inclination not to do work or engage in activities
Looking at these two definitions it is clear that there is a difference behind the intention of these actions. Rest is an intentional part of someones life that allows them to show up better for themselves, their communities, and the people closest to them. Rest is an action. It is something you can schedule, to allow growth and positive change in all areas. This includes your workplace, your family, your friendships, your community, your spirituality, and within yourself.
Laziness is the lack of action and intentionality. Laziness can show up as sleeping in every day, doom-scrolling for hours, playing endless video-games, mindless shopping, making frozen dinners, etc, etc, etc. None of these are necessarily bad on their own when you are partaking in these activities without intention or with the goal of avoiding your responsibilities, they can become very harmful. My personal definition for laziness is, “The choice to pursue the path of least resistance: the quickest hit of dopamine with the smallest amount of effort, even if it means avoiding responsibilities or taking shortcuts to reach the end result.” If our lives are all about shortcuts and quick dopamine hits we miss out on the most pleasurable parts of our existence.
The biggest difference between rest and laziness, in my experience, is the way you feel at the end of it. After a day of doom-scrolling, bed rotting, fast-food, and zero tasks completed, I always feel worse. I feel internally dirty, like I just wasted an entire day that many did not have the chance to live. I feel guilt and sadness, which often bleeds into the following days, creating a pattern of mindless, unproductive, unsatisfying days that don’t do anyone any good. Patterns like these are how depression and other mental/physical health disorders can manifest and it makes it much harder to break free from.
In contrast, days that are filled with intentional rest create patterns of healthy habits, positive self-image, and a refreshed mental space. Days of mindful rest add so much light to your life and you will always feel restored and rejuvenated by the end of it. A restful day looks like: getting a full nights rest, having sweet conversations with friends or family, exploring nature, self-care, making and enjoying delicious meals, reading a new book, and even scrolling or watching movies on your electronics. Anything and everything can be corrupted and pushed into the “lazy” category, which is why being intentional is the highest priority when partaking in a day of rest.
Rest can also look like saying no to plans that would take more than they add and not over scheduling yourself. You do not need to take a full day of rest in order to get the benefits. If you can take time each day to prioritize mindful, intentional rest, then you are ahead of majority of working America. Go for a leisurely walk, watch a nostalgic movie, journal about your days, take a bath, go fishing or hunting, read a new book, enjoy a home-cooked meal; whatever you choose to do, do it with your future self in mind.
Not everything needs to be completed at the speed of light. You don’t need to damage your body to reach success. You don’t need to neglect yourself to achieve your goals and dreams. Without rest we would be living in a sterile society that feels more akin to a lab or office rather than our lived experiences. At the end of our lives we are going to look back at our days and remember the moments of pleasure, love, family, community, and joyfulness. We cannot be hard-working, dedicated people without choosing those moments and creating space to slow-down.
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
